Accept your flowers, beauty.

Part of becoming a divine feminine woman is accepting that you deserve to be loved and accepting that love. For a while, I had a very difficult time with this. Although I was very picky about what men I chose to entertain, I still found myself entertaining men who didn't have my best interest at heart; I'd tell myself 'I just enjoy the challenge.' which is somewhat true. 

I'd entertain their nonchalant one word text messages with paragraphs explaining how I felt (pretty embarrassing to admit), settled for forced conversations, forced dates. The bar was so low for what I allowed for the sake of 'the challenge'.

I created fantasies in my head that things were more than what they were in hopes that someday it WOULD become more. I found 'good' men annoying & a bore because they reminded me of my father's attempts at being a 'good' father and lets face it...like most of us.. I used to believe that having no chase is no fun. 

Men that liked me more than I liked them just never interested me. Unfortunately, I feel like many of us are wired this way for whatever deep rooted issues we may have. Well, it's dumb. It's always BEEN  dumb, beauty. Dumb, silly, degrading, self deprecating. I've read that many of us feel unworthy of non-toxic and/or loving relationships.

Ladies, we must step out of our own bodies and visualize your friend, a sister, a cousin accepting the mistreatment we allow ourselves to experience.  Or, the low standards we allow ourselves to set: "Well, at least he texted me 'HBD'."

How would we like to find that our sister's last minute plan was called off once again & she was OK with it? How would we like to find that our best friend's boo failed call her on her birthday? Or sent her a basic 'HBD' text? How would we feel knowing that our favorite coworker's boyfriend is gaslighting her once again? We wouldn't appreciate this; so why do we allow it for ourselves?

It starts within. We must treat ourselves better. We must be kinder to ourselves. Treat ourselves. Look in the mirror and genuinely believe you deserve good things because you ARE that chick; because you LOVE yourself. When you truly love yourself, you will not tolerate anything less.

It took a while, but I finally gave the man of my dreams a real chance. And once I did give him that chance and experienced something real, something sweet, I told myself that I would never allow anything less than what we have. Back then, I didn't want to take it to the next level because I knew it would be the real deal and I was terrified.

"Do I deserve this man? Why should this good man love me? Why should I let him treat me like a queen? Why should he be a gentleman to me? Why should he want to see me multiple times a week? Why would he call just to check up on me. Why should he buy me flowers? Just because?" Were all questions I would ask myself. 'Why do I deserve this?'

Because I deserve it. I am deserving. I am deserving of this treatment. I deserve to be treated with love & respect. Love and respect ARE the bare minimum. Some of us have gotten so used to being treated so badly that we think being treated with respect is boring. That non toxic relationships are boring; it doesn't excite us.

Well, I am above being treated less than. I deserve good - and so do you. 

-A